Dept. 23 Mission Log
419.12.02
MISSION EVALUATION REPORT BY SUPERVISOR: ROY-O-BOI-6 SUBJECTS EVALUATED: TROUBLESHOOTERS ELVIS-R-A-1, LAIZ-R-GUN-1
419.12.01 Newly-trained Dept. 23 Troubleshooters ELVIS and LAIZ reported to ROY-O-BOI-6 for duty. They were given their first assignment: to validate citizen BESS-DVA-1 for promotion to RED-level clearance. Troubleshooters failed to report to Computer Liaison JEN-O-BIX-3, demonstrating their failure to properly study the bureaucratic infopedia concerning the management structure, and failed to inquire of their supervisor if there was any “red tape” they needed to complete before taking on their first assignment. COMPUTER NOTE: DEMOTE 1 SENIORITY POINT FOR THIS FAILURE TO ADHERE TO BUREAUCRATIC PROTOCOL. Troubleshooters neglected to perform basic background check on BESS-DVA before interrogating subject. Agent LAIZ appeared to be overly familiar with subject. COMPUTER NOTE: SUBJECT BESS-DVA IS SUSPECTED OF UNLICENSED PROSTITUTION. AGENT LAIZ MAY BE DEVIANT. FURTHER OBSERVATION IS WARRANTED. Agent ELVIS appeared unaffected by pheromones emitted by subject BESS-DVA. COMPUTER NOTE: AGENT ELVIS MAY BE DEVIANT. FURTHER OBSERVATION IS WARRANTED. Agents subjected BESS-DVA to interrogation by veridicator. Variances were noted. Agents also interviewed citizen PAN-R-FRN at his private residence. Business owners GEORGE-Y-AAA-3 contacted Dept. 23 to register informal complaint that Agents failed to contact him regarding possible subversive activity in his business operations. COMPUTER NOTE: AGENTS MAY NEED FURTHER TRAINING IN SAVOIRE-FAIR (BUREAUCRACY) OR ADMINISTRATION.
419.12.01 At 01130 HRS a representative of THE CLONE ARRANGERS reported a suspicious inquiry from DANA-R-BOT-2, a physician in the service of the Cryogenic Reintroduction and Assimilation Program, a division of Civil Uniform Rehabilitation Enterprises. Supervisor ROY-O-BOI assigned Agents ELVIS and LAIZ to investigate subject DANA-R-BOT-2. Agents interrogated subject at her workplace. COMPUTER NOTE: NO EFFICIENCY LOSS WAS REPORTED BY MANAGERS OR SUPERVISORS OF DANA-R-BOT DURING THE INTERROGATION PERIOD. Agents reported subject was difficult and misleading to dishonest in her answers. Agents followed subject to her home in Delta Sector where they discovered numerous natural plants and reading material related to natural gardening. Agents contacted local COPS for destruction of materials. Delta Sector COPS were unable to comply with the request due to regulations and practices specific to Delta Sector. Background investigation of subject DANA-R-BOT-2 revealed that during her previous incarnation she had associated with Naturists; her death was either the result of a nature-related accident or official termination due to her association with Eco-Guerillas. In her second incarnation DANA reports she is remorseful of her past and wishes in no way to engage in subversive activities. Agents believe she is dishonest in her answers. Agents interviewed subject GLENDA-DVX-1, a secretary for the offices where DANA-R-BOT-2 is employed. Subject was very cooperative and provided agents with further information about possible subversive activities of DANA-R-BOT-2. The citizen also provided a photograph of a man she claims has met with subject DANA, and the man is further suspected of involvement with Naturist groups. COMPUTER NOTE: ATTACHED PHOTOGRAPH TO BE SENT TO CIVIL UNIFORM IDENTITY CONTROL FOR FACIAL RECOGNITION ANALYSIS. Agents file report on DANA-R-BOT-2 as possible subversive. Agents are assigned further investigation of DATA-R-BOT-2, with termination approval.
SUPERVISOR SUMMATION: AGENTS DEMONSTRATE BARE MINIMUM OF COMPETENCE WITH REGARD TO PROPER UNDERSTANDING OF AND OPERATION WITH BUREAUCRATIC POLICIES AND PROCESSES. AGENTS EXHIBIT A PREOCCUPATION WITH PERFORMING THEIR DUTIES AT THE EXPENSE OF PROPER PROCEDURE AND ACCORDING TO ESTABLISHED POLICY. THIS SUPERVISOR FINDS THE AGENTS FIT FOR DUTY AS BAGGAGE HANDLERS OR USHERS AT A PUPPET THEATER. FURTHER, AGENT ELVIS HAS SHOES THAT ARE FAR TOO SHINY. COMPUTER NOTE: THESE SHINY SHOES ARE IN AND OF THEMSELVES SUSPICIOUS. AGENT LAIZ APPEARS WILLING TO BELIEVE ALMOST ANYTHING – SUSPECT HIS ALLEGED MACKGROUND AS A MAFIA INFORMANT IS A COVER FOR INVOLVEMENT WITH FLAT EARTHERS. THIS SUPERVISOR STRONGLY SUGGESTS IMMEDIATE TERMINATION OF ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1, INCLUDING TERMINATION OF THEIR CLONE LINE, BOTH OF WHICH ARE OBVIOUSLY FUCKED UP.
---
419.12.02
MISSION EVALUATION REPORT SUPPLEMENT BY COMPUTER LIAISON JEN-O-BIX-3 SUBJECTS EVALUATED: TROUBLESHOOTERS ELVIS-R-A-1, LAIZ-R-GUN-1
Reported failure by Agents ELVIS-R-A-1 and LAIZ-R-GUN-1 to appear before Dept. 23 Computer Liaison JEN-O-BIX are accurate. Agents contacted Liaison JEN-O-BIX from the field during standard interrogation operation and were reminded of their obligation to report for initial clearance before receiving their first mission assignment. THIS LIAISON NOTES THAT AGENTS FAILURE TO ADHERE TO BUREAUCRATIC PROTOCOL SUGGESTS A FAILURE OF BUREACRATIC OPERATIONS AND OVERSIGHT MORE THAN PERSONALITY DEFECTS OR SUBVERSIVE BEHAVIOR OF AGENTS. Agents contacted Computer Liaison during field operations to initialize request for deep surveillance of subject should there be anomalies in the interview procedure. THIS LIAISON NOTES THIS SUGGESTS THE AGENTS HAVE A PROPER UNDERSTANDING OF THE INTERACTION OF FIELD OPERATIONS AND BUREAUCRATIC PROCEDURES, THUS DEMONSTRATING THEY DO NOT LACK KNOWLEDGE OR UNDERSTANDING OF ESBLISHED AND PEROPERLY FORUMALTE POLICIES AND OPERATIONS. Once they had returned to Dept. 23 offices, Agents EVLIS-R-A-1 and LAIZ-R-GUN-1 promptly reported to Computer Liaison and were evaluated and cleared for field operations.
LIAISON SUMMATION: THIS LIAISON FINDS NO FAULT WITH THE AGENTS FOR THEIR FAILURE TO REPORT TO COMPUTER LIAISON FOR INTIAL EVALUATION AND CLEARANCE FOR FIELD OPERATIONS. THIS LIAISON NOTES THAT THIS IS NOT THE FIRST PAIR OF AGENTS TO NEGLECT THIS SIMPLE PROCEDURE. AS THE POLICY ESTABLISHIG THIS PROCEDURE IS NOT DIRECT POLICY BUT INFERRED OPERATING PROCEDURE IT IS THE DUTY OF THE DEPARTMENT SUPERVISOR TO INFORM AGENTS OF THIS PRACTICE. FAILURE OF A DEPARTMENT SUPERVISOR TO INFORM AGENTS OF THIS PRACTICE SHOULD NOT BE ASSIGNED TO FAILURE OF THE AGENTS TO INQUIRE ABOUT THIS PRACTICE. ONCE AGAIN THIS LIAISON MUST NOTE THE INCREASING FREQUENCY OF ACCUSATIONS FROM THE DEPARTMENT SUPERVISOR REGARDING THE PERFORMANCE OF HIS AGENTS. THIS PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR IS SUGGESTIVE OF NEUROLOGICAL BREAKDOWN IN THE SIXTH ITERATION OF ROY-O-BOI.
---
419.12.02
MISSION EVALUATION REPORT HEURISTIC ANALYSIS BY THE COMPUTER
AGENTS ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1 REPORTED FOR DUTY. AGENTS ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1 PERFORMED THEIR DUTY. AGENTS ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1 DID NOT TERMINATE ANYONE INJUDICIOUSLY. AGENTS ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1 DID NOT TERMINATE ANYONE AT ALL. AGENTS ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1 FAILED TO PERFORM A PERFUNCTORY BUREAUCRATIC FUNCTION. AGENTS ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1 WERE NOT TERMINATED. AGENTS ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1 VISITED DELTA SECTOR. AGENTS ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1 CONTACTED DELTA SECTOR COPS. AGENTS ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1 HAVE REPORTED POSSIBLE SUBVERSIVES. AGENTS ELVIS-R-A-1 AND LAIZ-R-GUN-1 HAVE REPORTED A PROBABLE SUBVERSIVE.
AGENT ELVIS-R-A-1 IS OPERATING INLICENSED AND UNREGULATED EQUIPMENT. AGENT ELVIS-R-A-1 MAY BE A MUTANT.
AGENT LAZI-R-GUN-1 MAY BE A FLAT-EARTHER. AGENT LAIZ-R-GUN-1 IS PROBABLY A DEVIANT.
COMPUTER AWARDS 1 SENIORITY POINT TO EACH AGENT. SENIORITY POINTS MAY BE ACCUMULATED AND SPENT ON INCREASING ADMINISTRATIVE RANK, SECURITY CLEARANCE, OR OTHER BUREAUCRATIC OR SOCIAL ADVANTAGES.
COMPUTER AWARDS 2 CHARACTER POINTS FOR SUCCESSFUL INTERROGATION OF SUBJECT BESS-DVA AND SUBJECT DANA-R-BOT-2.
COMPUTER SUGGESTS AGENT ELVIS-R-A-1 DEVELOP CONTACT WITH DELTA SECTOR COPS OFFICER.
COMPUTER SUGGESTS AGENT LAIZ-R-GUN-1 DEVELOP CONTACT WITH SUBJECT BESS-DVA IN ORDER TO ESTABLISH SURVEILLANCE OF POSSIBLE CRIMINAL SUBVERSIVE ACTIVITIES. COMPUTER SUGGESTS SAVOIRE-FAIRE (MAFIA) SKILL TO IMPROVE THIS AREA OF INTELLIGENCE.
COMPUTER SUGGESTS BOTH AGENTS IMPROVE UTILIZE INTERROGATION SKILLS TO ESTABLISH STRATEGIES FOR INTERROGATING SUJECTS.
COMPUTER HAS RECEIVED INDICATIONS THAT AGENTS MISSION ACTIVITY HAS RESULTED IN CONSEQUENTIAL ACTIVITY OF POSSIBLE CRIMINAL SUBVERSIVE NATURE.
COMPUTER REPORTS BODY OF PAL-R-FRN WAS FOUND IN DUMPSTER BEHIND LANIGAN'S BAR AT 1900 HRS.